yea i know about my hiatus thing but it's something at my disposal. I had some free time today and when you are doing engineering you can imagine how precious it is! and so i thought i might as well use this time to blog about cricket and yes the England team are yet to lose to Kenya...still one day...
so anyways the main thing is after just a brief glimmer of hope, team India have again returned to their old ways and are being hammered right now by Mr I am Royalty and theres the pig faced Ian bell who is hanging there on the other side. Ishant Sharma looks like he's gonna die trying. His lady luck hasn't been able to travel to UK due to visa problem. Then there's David Cameron in the stands coming here to witness another kind of riot; a run-riot.
There's a happy atmosphere in the commentary box as always irrespective of what is happening on the field. Ganguly is secretly hoping if someone would say he was a better captain than Dhoni here. And then i witnessed something. Three people walking along the boundary lines. They were Praveen kumar, Munaf patel aka 'The illiterate' and i think the last one was Pragyan ojha who was last heard in the news a long time back and it was for his marriage. Anyways so there's this guy in the audience genuinely asking for a autograph. Ojha didn't see it, Munaf patel- the illiterate that he is, saw it and ignored it. Praveen kumar complied and the poor fellow did manage to get an autograph even if it was kumar's. Seriously if you are walking that close and you are pratically doing nothing i think you should oblige your fans with an autograph or two. Munaf patel you are a pathetic piece of shit!!
anyways as i sign off i want to treat you guys to a image of Mick Jagger and A.R. Rahman that made me laugh. here it is

lol

Mick jagger's posture is gay and A.R. Rahman is looking like someone's held him forcefully for this pic.
So long!
Make it rain heavens! Anything but 4-0.

Indefinite hiatus

• Are you a struggling cricketer waiting for your form to return? 
• have you been in very bad form lately? 
• have the runs stopped flowing? 

If most of your answers are 'yes', then don't worry. All you need to do is play one match against team India.team India is so generous with you guys that not only will they help you regain your confidence, but will also allow you to make new records, ones which you never imagined you could do.
For those of you wondering why i am venting my frustration this way..its effing obvious! Alastair Cook has gone past 200 playing over 400 balls and even then it doesn't seem that he's going to stop soon. Literally nothing seems to be bogging him down. The way he's sticking there would put the likes of Hashim Amla to shame! He alone has chased down, rather gone past India's team score. Sreesanth has been using literally every expression of his to try to provoke the batsmen but none seem to be working at the moment. Morgan's is in his nineties, Cook is close to 250, maybe he even reaches 300 today ( which if he does i am not gonna watch any further matches of India vs England).
               As i type Morgan hit Gambhir who was standing at short leg and it hit him at the same spot where he had been hit earlier in this series. Morgan was all like "Oops hes my captain in kkr." And then suddenly he realised the prospect of him being the captain in Gambhir's absence. Greed took over as he really smashed the ball (this time intentional though) in Gambhir's direction. But you know how it is with Morgan right?! The ball rarely goes in the direction he wants to. And Gambhir's elbow lives to see another humiliating test defeat against the poms.The possibility of an innings defeat looms large. Contrary to people's beliefs, Harbhajan's not a total idiot. I think he foresaw this and hence left for India. Injury? Haha..you really thought so?
              Seriously how excited was i before this test series. But what i have written has been haunting me even in my sleep. While it might not be as bad as the image of Stuart Broad aka Barbie Doll dancing buck naked in the shower, i assure you its still no good. So bad has their performance been, they have made me look delusional. In the dressing room Graeme Swann is smiling now. Well Graeme, you shouldn't. You sucked as a bowler. No.1 bowler huh? well far from it.

walk of shame

Not able to bear the guilt of appearing as a delusional to my own self, i will now spend my days in hiding indefinitely until things become better or until the poms lose to a team like Kenya. ciao until then..

damnit! get away from me!

Aus need 119 from 52 balls. its almost over. i am now watching this match only to see Warner go berserk and help myself to a few fireworks towards the end. You suck Steven smith! As a batsman if  you aren't able to put away someone like Rangana herath you know you suck as one!
Steven Smith: St Sangakkara bHerath 12(17)
see? tat is precisely what am talkin about! loser!
the next man is Brad haddin. i think Australia should have given Sri lanka a walkover! what pathetic team selection! all these years Greg chappell hasn't learnt a thing. I guess hes the 'real' loser here. Aus 89/5

A zombie that he is, Cameron White is supposed to scare other people. But he is the one who's looking scared here! really scared!!
once again, what kind of team keeps a zombie as a captain.
The Aussies are now back into the game! why? coz Cameron white's on his way! You can win this one Aussies! or maybe not because the next man in is Steven 'the loser' Smith. okay, even he needs to go if australia want to win. Aus 66/4 in 9 overs.

David hussey gone as well! Aus 49/3 in 6 overs. The next batsmen is from the zombie hall of fame. guess who?

zombie

if Aussies are to have any chance of winning this one, Cameron White has to go...and quick!

Aus vs Sri lanka 1st t20

Gone! the Ox has been bowled by a beauty from Nuwan 'reptile' Kulasekara. When you are chasing a score like 199 in t20 u need someone like Ox. Nevertheless Sehwag student David Warner is hitting well as he just hit a six over the bowler's head. Also there's Shaun Marsh on the other side. If these two can stay things could become easy for the Aussies. However it's never a good thing to have Greg Chappell in your dugout. He's a ugly witch and I think am right coz Marsh just lost his wicket!

viru returns!!

The poms might have won the two tests. But here is where it stops! There is only one man in their way and there he is standing there with a smirk on his face. He is Virender Sehwag! yes people he's back! recovered or not he can still kick ass and amen he will!
Graeme Swann has wet his pants once again!

the curse of Ishant

India are 0-2 down in the series already. Humanly it is very very difficult to recover from here.
                                         So the only way out for Team India now is for Ishant Sharma to reveal his true identity and use his supernatural powers to let loose his fury over the poms. Kinda like this

i curse you pommies! (in between thundering of clouds)

The poms stand no chance now do they?! Graeme Swann has already wet his pants!

Suresh raina has returned to his old ways

public display of affection gets a whole new meaning!

look at the above picture. do i need to say anything? its evident why raina underperformed in the second test against England. That man can just not keep his pants up, can he!
still all is not lost. Mend your ways Raina before it's too late. Look 'the villain' Virat Kohli has already made it to the team in place of an injured Yuvraj. Stay Sharp.
(i have borrowed the sign off from someone..if you are smart you will know haha!)

Return of  'the villain'

Wayne is now Whallid

Wayne Parnell is now Whallid Parnell. Wayne Parnell has converted to Islam. WTF!
            the national team manager who is also a muslim, was quick to say that neither of the two i.e Hashim Amla or Imran Tahir were responsible in influencing Wayne..sorry Whallid and it was his own decision which he had taken after personal study. Whallid means "the Great One" in their language but how can something like that even in the least be associated with someone like Wayne Parnell. Sorry i will keep calling him Wayne because thats how people know him.
this news seriously made me go WTF! WTF!

dick

here's another thing that made me go WTF

call 100-45666 for unlimited pleasure.

Cameron White national t20 captain?/!

i am sorry if my last post was too colorful. its probably beacuse am tired now and have stopped thinking.
                    while reading the papers today i saw Tillakaratne Dilshan posing with a trophy along with wait? it can't be . yes Cameron White. It was one of those customary Captain's photos. But if that is the case what the hell is Cameron White doing in it? unless..he's the captain!! The last i saw of Cameron White, he was in terrible terrible form! and now this? what happened suddenly? Has he regained his form? if not, then why the captaincy?
is this what Cricket Australia do to motivate those guys who are not doing well..by giving them captaincy? I am still coming to terms with it and so must be Cameron White. afterall its not always that a zombie leads a national cricket side. rite?

zombie

all sorts of things are happening in the cricketing world right now. as much as i would like to it isn't humanly possible for me to report each and everything especially alongside engineering which i am currently pursuing right now. I know for sure that i will have to discontinue someday..but till then i'll try to make this work
    alrite then, here's a glimpse of the things that took place

• India lose the second test by 319 runs after losing the first test by 196 runs
• The VASEliNE GATE                                                                                                              Vaughan tweeted that Laxman had applied vaseline to his bat and hence his edge went unnoticed by Hot Spot thus starting the vaseline gate which led to angry mob of Indians abusing him on twitter. I read some of the abuses. I swear if he knew what they meant he would confine himself to his home and live in hiding for eternity. He didn't make things easier for himself when he retweeted a couple of these abusive tweets adding  "Nasty..i guess?". Seeing that their abuses were being retweeted many more abused him further hoping for a retweet. Soon many Indians who didn't even know he was, came to know of his existance. I tell you he is one big DUMBASS. nothing else. Seeing the attention and the fame Vaughan got, a lesser know Hoggard followed suit. You can't help but think about the senselessness of the people living in this world.
• The IAN BELL runout controversy                                                                                             Ian bell, the pig faced guy with decent cricketing skills was runout because of his carelessness as he strayed away from the crease thinking that play time was over. Clearly the one at fault he even argued with the umps as they gave him out. The crowd booed as team India claimed the wicket. Then during the break Stauss like a beggar came upto 'The Dhoni' asking to withdraw the appeal. A nagging beggar that he was, team India let Bell back on the field stating that what they did was not by the rules but in the spirit of the game. And GUESS WHAT? NOBODY CARES. What this step did although was deny the British Media of some breaking news. Bell went on to score 150 and was out shortly after. These English, i tell you such hypocrites! there was a similar incident a few years ago and this is what the English did then:

http://www.theroar.com.au/2011/08/01/ian-bell-run-out-incident/

• UDRS                                                                                                                                          Then ofcourse we had Nasser Hussain and Ravi Shastri battle it out in the commentary box over India saying no to UDRS. Nasser went on to say that India's decision to not use UDRS was *disgraceful* which angered Ravi Shastri and both of them were soon caught in a war of words. It went on for sometime before they realised that they had to cover the match too and that they had argued through one whole session without any idea of the time. These Commentators, such boring people i tell you. they just sit there and talk and talk and talk and then there's some more talk! aaahhh give me a break!!

Alan Wilkins gets owned!

Alan Wilkins gets owned....by Sourav Ganguly
 

Another day of cricket and am again listening to the commentary. there is this conversation between Ganguly and Wilkins. it was somewhat like this:

Wilkins: The Bollywood movie Patiala House was shot entirely at this stadium.

Ganguly: I know even you played a part in it.

Wilkins: So did you watch it?

Ganguly: No..i will watch the movie only when you play a part which is longer than a minute. I don't want to head out of the screen for a drink or coffee and miss your shot!!

fucking owned! Look how Alan Wilkins gets owned here by Sourav Ganguly. Haha...hilarious! rite?

Dravid has been 'the guy' in England. When people criticized him, he stood there unlike that sad cricketer Sourav Ganguly who quit because he felt he was being judged at the end of each game, each series. He must be really stupid and naive..giving up his game for a reason like that.
anyways so now that Dravid's been doing good it's his chance to say 'up yours' to his critics. The same can be said for Laxman. Even he is hanging on there.

they call him The Wall.

"You leave me alone and i might do something else but when you say i can't do it, I do my very best indeed, better than the best. Thanks to them (crowd) for cheering me up."

when you read the first two lines you may think of it to be taken out from some cheesy self help book. But if you think so i need to tell you that you are wrong. The philosopher talking here is none other than S.Sreesanth. Surprised? even i was when i read it. Sreesanth has now added another feather to his cap. Stand up comedian/ Dancer/ Philosopher and an occasional bowler who surfaces in team India from time to time only to disappear again. Once again listening to the commentary i came across this interesting thought by some foreign commentator. He said Sreesanth was good against South-African batsmen. Now wait where does South Africa come from? Isn't this a England vs India test?! I didn't have to think too much as i saw who was batting. It was none other than Mr. I am Royalty! Amusing really! But what added to my amusement was that it was Sreesanth who got another South African Jonathan Trott in one innings and Mr I am Royalty in both innings. yes both of them! now i am thinking of that unplayable delivery he got Jacques Kallis out to in South Africa. He's also got 'The Ab' out quite a few times!
         Seems like it maybe true afterall. Sreesanth has finally found something he is good at!

sreesanth thinking '' i suck at everything. don't i?"

this is his reaction after reading my blog.

 You see i put a smile on his face. This was my one good deed for the day. You go do yours.

Fuck! India 's down 2-0 now against the poms. They have completely taken Team India by surprise. The next significant news being that Virender Sehwag or 'The Sehwag' has left for England and with Zaheer back hopefully the pommie tailenders will probably not wag their tails as much as they have done so far particularly Barbie. You know you are not bowling right when someone like Bresnan is hitting you for 90!! Yea..i know he can bat..so you expect him to hit a 30 odd someday but wait 90? and that too against the no.1 ranked team in the world?? The world is coming to an end or wait maybe its just India no.1 ranking thats coming down. 'The Dhoni' has vowed a turnaround and Harbhajan is injured. Truth be told even if he wasn't injured i don't really think the chances of him playing were too bright. So maybe he faked it. To save himself the embarrassment...