India vs England 3rd Odi

coming home tired, plonking myself on the bed, switching on the tv. Extras showing the fall of wickets. 1,2,3,4...? wait wtf?! and then i see the scorecard of the Englishmen. 298/4 ?! either the pitch must be a really good surface to bat or team India must have bowled Sreenath Aravind (The latter being not true)

  Samit patel and Roelof van der merwe (poof) belong to those special kind of cricketers who are told by coaches to keep their eyes compulsorily closed while hitting the ball. So while doing so they might get hit sometimes but keeping their eyes open they risk getting hit by almost every delivery.

  Today was a good day for Samit patel. scored 70 off 43 balls which include 7 4's and 2 6's. Seriously Samit Fuck you! because you got England to a considerably big score they would otherwise never have got with Jonathan trott in the middle. Trott is another sad fucker! 98 off 116 notout haha.. another sad ass mofo.. look how he is stranded on 98. These are the moments which make cricket special.
  uh yes.. Fuck you Samit for hittin 70 off 43 balls. if bopara had played those 43 balls he would have got to his 50 off say 75 deliveries and could have got to play a few more matches for England. No real damage to the scoreboard as well, as England would have been at least 30-40 runs short of where they are right now. But no you don't want to think about that. Fuck you Samit! Fuck you!

paul collingwood's fall from grace

Somebody please help get him out of here!!!!

Stuart Broad doppelgangers AKA my shittiest post

here's a list of stuart broad doppelgangers.. Once again, i have no idea why i am doing it.
just check it out.

1.Stuart Broad and julie benz (from dexter)

stuart broad and julie benz. doppelgangers!

2.Stuart Broad and evey ( from v for vendetta)

stuart broad and natalie portman. doppelgangers!

3. and finally our very own barbie!

stuart broad and barbie. cute huh? lol

it is a riot..! Miss Stuart you are a lovely lass!!

India vs England, 2-0 and running

the pommies were handed their second consecutive defeat as India beat them by 8 wickets at delhi on monday. after the the fall of the rookie ajinkya rahane and the dwarf ( parthiv patel ) early , two delhiites; Gambhir  and the other, someone i do not wish to name came to the party and ensured that India won rather comfortably.

''what i like about these two wins is that india have won big, not scraped through. winning is also about creating hopelessness''  well said harsha bhogle..very well said. for once i agree

3 odi's left. 5-0 will be sweet but team India has done some charity in the past and they might do some this time around as well.


Meanwhile somewhere else Bangladesh beat West Indies. why is this significant ?! well because West Indies were all out for 61 after playing just 22 overs. they have clearly outdone themselves here.


There were also a couple of t20s played between australia and south africa. People turned out to watch it despite Ab's absence. the aussies won the first. Shane 'ox' Watson didn't play the second t20 because he was bored. Naturally the Saffas won it

bored

paul collingwood is trying to put a brave face co-hosting the extras show before and after the matches. He clearly doesnt belong here.

Tom cruise and Shaun tait

more doppelgangers,

• Tom Cruise and Shaun Tait 

Tom cruise and Shaun tait. doppelgangers!

Billie joe armstrong and Callum ferguson and Virat kohli

As one of the reader's, AT Doeschate rightly pointed out!

Callum ferguson and Billie joe armstrong. doppelgangers!

 and also my observation!

Virat kohli and Callum ferguson. doppelgangers!

many more doppelgangers in the future people!

the chaos is over.

finally it's calm again in the cricketing world (well for sometime atleast) as the clt20 ends. every memory washed away right from the nauseous opening ceremony to Arun Karthik's dramatic last ball six off Daniel Christian.

Unfortunately it also means no seeing the Morkels (here, Albie) and the Doeschates anymore. but doesnt matter. Albie will be busy in the treatment of his brother Morne. wondering what happened to Morne Morkel are you now? well here's what happened:

embracing the female side

should i say more?!


Meanwhile Ryan ten Doeschate after playing some good cricket here, is looking forward to a good vacation. But hey,doesn't mean he didn't enjoy here!

such a top guy i tell you and humble too!



and about the clt20 tournament? well the team led by harbhajan singh won!
they say 'every dog has his day'. Incidentally the same applies for monkeys too..!

i resurface one last time for the night to bring to light one hell of a twitter update by Dirk Nannes and i assure you this tweet (or retweet ) could easily overshadow his performance for the rcb in clt20
here it is:

"Kohli has the strong wrists of someone who spent his teen years angrily masturbating to magazine pics of Aishwarya." 

speechless? not me..i am roaring with laughter!!! How brilliant is that!

apparently masturbation is not taboo in cricket. here's another famous guy rather proudly 'doing it'.

good fun. lol

And then here is  Ab de villier's reaction to all of this

AB: "forgive them for they know not what they do"

Amen.\\

Csk vs Nsw - a fight for survival

Csk and Nsw face off in a do or die match in the clt20. csk is a strong team and nsw's glorious days are perhaps maybe behind them. But lets not forget nsw is the team of the ox. yeah rite nsw has Shane watson in its ranks...but wait this advantage is immediately cancelled out by the presence of  Steven smith (talentless) and moises henriques (a hopeless wannabe). the sheer presence of these two guys is enough to send nsw packing home. to add to it, nsw skipper simon katich probably has not been able to come out of the grief of being denied a contract for australia and that average of 15 is not going to help him either.
And then the match began as watson ( the ox ) and warner ( follower of sehwagology ) got off to a flier. as usual watson got bored and threw his wicket ( he really does need to show some respect to the opposition ) . Sehwag's protege Warner had other plans as he launched a brutal assault on the bowlers not sparing even his former nsw team matey (as they say it back home?) douggie bollinger. i know it's doug but ravi shastri's commentary gets to you..
Raina came into bowl to Warner with a child like ignorance but was shown no mercy as Warner caned him. At the end of the game, raina's figure's read 3 overs 0-32. one can either praise raina for his bravery or can criticise him for his foolishness. I say leave him alone.
So warner has done serious damage to csk's chances. he scored a brutal unbeaten 135 off 69 deliveries!! somewhere watching all of this is Sehwag. he can be proud of himself! he's taught the kid (here, warner) well!

(sehwag telling warner): i always thought you were better than AB!

Davy Jacobs blues

long ago in the history of t20 cricket, were a pack of cricketers lead by a small but otherwise big hearted man with just a little more hair than Herschelle gibbs. This man was called davy jacobs. Some speculate that such was his terror among the opponents that they named him after davy jones (that creature from pirate's movie). People of their area affectionately called them the 'warriors'. The warriors fought hard and won many a battles under the leadership of jacobs. And then suddenly everything changed.

Davy jacobs was bought by the mumbai indians (the same franchise that now has harbhajan singh as its captain). The confidence, the runs and everything else. poof! all gone in a flash. The same Jacobs who would move across the wicket to face a ball at about 140kmph and still hit it way into the stands found himself wanting while donning the blue outfit. Worse, he started getting out not trying to hit the ball, but defending it. The fear vanished from the opposition just like nauseous memories of the various opening ceremonies of the ipl. And now he has suffered a hip injury.

I think this injury for Davy jacobs couldn't come at a better time. This should give him some time to rethink playing for the mumbai indians and return to the warriors as soon as possible ( that is when the contract expires). But where will that leave Mark boucher? well that...is another story.

davy jacobs - the good times

AB de villiers dreams fractured!

Ab de villiers is out of the champions league 2011. He has fractured his finger in a training session for RCB. If you ask me, i feel he had it coming! Not just me, anybody reading his tweets too would.
like here's his tweet before the unfateful incident

                                           " Morning practice in Bangalore. .....gonna be physical! "

and heres the one before

"Tough fielding session with Ray Jennings today!...."

if Ab finds a fielding session tough, guess Ray jennings was really pushing him. Or maybe someone from the team just got tired of the superhuman fielding standards he was setting and deliberately did it. Either ways it's just Ab's fault. Afterall not every player likes to be made to feel useless and Ab should understand that.

But what really pissed me off is Ab's reaction to the turn of events. Obviously very disappointed he says.

the fuck?? disappointed for what AB? for not being able to play for rcb? for not being able to put in your 400%  in just another game of this shit tournament? for not being able to make the commentators squirm in their seats and orgasm as you play your shots? did he think this was just another fairy tale story with ''and they lived happily ever after..." ending?

 Someone really needs to slap him and wake him up for christ's sake! He is supposed to be leading south africa for the first time and that too against the aussies. but now there are concerns over whether he could be fit to even play, let alone lead the side. These thoughts however, don't seem to be bother him at all as sometime afterwards he is there again on twitter interacting with his friends and family.

PEOPLE SUCK! THIS WORLD IS A PATHETIC PLACE! AND IF YOU AREN'T GOOD YOU WILL BE DEAD SOON!
-(from the diary of shane watson)

See that? learn something from him.

post titled ' Depression forces Pomersbach to take hiatus from cricket.'

http://cricket.yahoo.com/cricket/news/article?id=item/2.0/-/story/cricket.ani.com/depression-forces-pomersbach-take-hiatus-from-cricket-20110928/

this dude never became mainstream for the kind of talent he has.
hope he recovers soon.

just wondering what would happen if the guy was somebody like Irfan Pathan.

wondering WHY HASN'T HE SLIPPED INTO DEPRESSION YET?!.

how does he come up season after season only to be told by people "You don't have it in you anymore."

feel that irfan pathan is gonna be one of those players who will certainly look back at his life one day and shed a silent tear. afterall he was top cricketer. he really was...

Apparently, Callum ferguson is Australia's answer to India's Virat kohli (yes, the villain remember).
Same style, similar shots and wierdly similar looks.
see here:

virat kohli and callum ferguson

See that? the villian has a clone now. Beware raina beware!

anybody wondering why no posts on mumbai indians...?
thats because it is a team that has harbhajan singh as it's captain.
do you really wanna know more?

the good thing about kkr matches is that we get to see Ryan ten doeschate. This guy has single handedly kept the name Netherlands ( or Holland as some might say ) alive in world cricket. he is a good ambassador for the sport in his nation and belongs to the same league of players like Shane watson. top class.

dude

Jacques kallis was made the captain of the kkr in absence of gautam gambhir. He wasnt very happy with the decision and one who's known him would be sure that he would do everything possible to piss the coach enough to take away the captaincy.
First he scored a run a ball 30 odd in the first qualifier to make sure kkr didnt get to a great total. Miraculously kkr won. The next game saw him make a single digit outing for his cause. All this had such an impact on people in the kkr camp that gautam gambhir himself forgot about his own injuries and offered to lead the side. Afterall there's a reason why all these years playing for South africa and we didn't see too many times of him as a captain.

just want to say all those years of cricket i have seen and no-one more uncomfortable with captaincy than Jacques kallis. Infact it would be safe to say that Kallis is more uncomfortable with captaincy than a Hobo without makeup.
the only new thing with his captaincy was that atleast we got to hear his voice...during the toss. Other times he was back to his usual self

which is why the photographer who took the pic below should be awarded

zombies don't smile

unfortunately, no gayle-storm today just some passing showers! Now to see Ab play against his south-african brothers.
i must admit though, clt20 isn't very catching. Plus the commentary is like dead. this maybe the last match i will watch. Or wait i may not even see this one completely!
(meanwhile...)
Botha to Ab: Six!
Botha to Ab: OUT!

and i have pressed the power button on the remote. Time to move on...

just another ugly opening ceremony here to the champions league t20 2011. the performers:
1. Jay sean: who the fuck is he??!!
2. Flo rida: I wanna shoot myself.

 the entire ceremony was misery redefined not only for the viewers home but also for the cameramen and it showed! You know it when you see the same people again and again making an ass of themselves just for the big screen. I could recognise the three blonde cheerleaders even in a crowd now! I think the nauseous feeling due to the opening event will stay for sometime now.


Anyways so the opening match is between the rcb and the warriors. Hope Gayle can murder the bowling just like he murders english on twitter.

No to kids vs MEN

Kids shouldn't be allowed to play international cricket alongside men. You see the problem is there are guys like Shaun tait, who are just waiting to hunt and kill them, maim 'em the least.
Here's Ab de villiers when he was made to play as a kid

And then Shaun tait nearly killed him (broke only his ribs, thankfully?) .here's the video

But he was 'AB' so he survived.
The following kids may not be so lucky:
1.Colin Ingram,SA

2.Kane Williamson,NZ

I know there are more kids out there but i once secretly read tait's diary ( if he knows he will kill me too, risky job this blogging) and he had mentioned it on his 'to-do' list. Some friend or relative of theirs happens to come across this post by chance, do inform the kids to stay at home when this monster is on the pitch.

shaun tait. favorite dish: cricket playing kids who think they are cute.

P.S. this is tom cruise and not shaun tait. not too much of a difference with the looks huh?!

yes people, Dravid has fallen short. its sad. that he fell to graeme swann is sadder but getting out to swann is still so much better than getting out to barbie. thats the last you will hear from him in odi's. sounds scary when i put it that way.
Villian Virat has found a unique way of getting out. Hitwicket bowled Graeme Swann??/ he's gone for 107 from 93 balls.
Once again the Raina-Dhoni affair will prevail. As i type Raina has hit Bresnan for a straight six. Bresnan's face is similar to a zoo monkey being denied a banana.
Meanwhile lets quickly go through the list of injured players
1.Zaheer khan
2.Virender Sehwag
3.Gautam Gambhir
4.Yuvraj singh
5. Rohit sharma
6. Ishant sharma
7. Praveen kumar
8. Harbhajan singh
(Notice harbhajan's name is in last.)
See that? see that you pommies? If you are bragging about your win which you probably are, shame on you. Add to that the rain which saved your asses a couple of times. Yeah yeah, now you are taking about Irish born Eoin morgan and barbie Broad's injuries?! do note that its towards the end of the series.
And as far as this matchis concerned, India is going to win this one.

if you ever hear Sourav Ganguly doing commentary you might wonder why this man is in the commentary and not on the field. Well here's the reason. It's because sourav likes to think he is an intellectual. And because there are so many thoughts he is at a loss to pick one.While this ability of him might earn him a contract for commentary, well...not so much for batting. Also whats with alan wilkins? an arab accent while calling Virat kohli,a persian accent while calling jade dernbach...certainly taking multilingualism to a new level!
Coming to England, team India have lost 7 consecutive matches which include 4 tests, 1 t20 and 2 odi's although the rains saved the pommie ass a couple of times. One might wonder if team India should have left earlier when they were 0-2 in the series citing safety issues due to the ongoing riots. But its too late now. Being 0-7 down to the poms, all India can do is try to win the last match and think that they have salvaged some pride, they haven't the least but still...

'' i dedicate the series win to London zoo. Had a great time there with Wilf and Mrs Swann yesterday." 

Very funny Graeme. Mrs Swann is a brave woman.

I will try to be optimistic and hope that team India enjoyed shopping and go karting in England. Esp Varun aaron. the lad is getting a good lesson of being patient. One day he will be picked. Interesting to see what happens then. till that time we will continue to endure Munaf and his pathetic antics. He is just a fucked up copy of former great glenn mcgrath. Speaking of mccgrath, and australia in particular, they have won the first test and Shaun marsh has hit a ton on debut. He should just smile once a while or atleast smirk with disdain lest he too be classified as a zombie. I am sure Simon Katich is watching all this, getting emotional remembering his good old days and helping himself to another pint of beer. Just another victim, just another bat silenced for eternity..
Returning to the India-England series, India are looking good for a change. India 200/2 in 39 overs with 'the villian' Virat Kohli on 80(75) and Dravid on 63(73). hope he can get to a 100. as i type villian Virat has hit ramesh powar's distant cousin samit patel for 16 in the over. 40 overs gone, Ind 216/2.

yea i know about my hiatus thing but it's something at my disposal. I had some free time today and when you are doing engineering you can imagine how precious it is! and so i thought i might as well use this time to blog about cricket and yes the England team are yet to lose to Kenya...still one day...
so anyways the main thing is after just a brief glimmer of hope, team India have again returned to their old ways and are being hammered right now by Mr I am Royalty and theres the pig faced Ian bell who is hanging there on the other side. Ishant Sharma looks like he's gonna die trying. His lady luck hasn't been able to travel to UK due to visa problem. Then there's David Cameron in the stands coming here to witness another kind of riot; a run-riot.
There's a happy atmosphere in the commentary box as always irrespective of what is happening on the field. Ganguly is secretly hoping if someone would say he was a better captain than Dhoni here. And then i witnessed something. Three people walking along the boundary lines. They were Praveen kumar, Munaf patel aka 'The illiterate' and i think the last one was Pragyan ojha who was last heard in the news a long time back and it was for his marriage. Anyways so there's this guy in the audience genuinely asking for a autograph. Ojha didn't see it, Munaf patel- the illiterate that he is, saw it and ignored it. Praveen kumar complied and the poor fellow did manage to get an autograph even if it was kumar's. Seriously if you are walking that close and you are pratically doing nothing i think you should oblige your fans with an autograph or two. Munaf patel you are a pathetic piece of shit!!
anyways as i sign off i want to treat you guys to a image of Mick Jagger and A.R. Rahman that made me laugh. here it is

lol

Mick jagger's posture is gay and A.R. Rahman is looking like someone's held him forcefully for this pic.
So long!
Make it rain heavens! Anything but 4-0.

Indefinite hiatus

• Are you a struggling cricketer waiting for your form to return? 
• have you been in very bad form lately? 
• have the runs stopped flowing? 

If most of your answers are 'yes', then don't worry. All you need to do is play one match against team India.team India is so generous with you guys that not only will they help you regain your confidence, but will also allow you to make new records, ones which you never imagined you could do.
For those of you wondering why i am venting my frustration this way..its effing obvious! Alastair Cook has gone past 200 playing over 400 balls and even then it doesn't seem that he's going to stop soon. Literally nothing seems to be bogging him down. The way he's sticking there would put the likes of Hashim Amla to shame! He alone has chased down, rather gone past India's team score. Sreesanth has been using literally every expression of his to try to provoke the batsmen but none seem to be working at the moment. Morgan's is in his nineties, Cook is close to 250, maybe he even reaches 300 today ( which if he does i am not gonna watch any further matches of India vs England).
               As i type Morgan hit Gambhir who was standing at short leg and it hit him at the same spot where he had been hit earlier in this series. Morgan was all like "Oops hes my captain in kkr." And then suddenly he realised the prospect of him being the captain in Gambhir's absence. Greed took over as he really smashed the ball (this time intentional though) in Gambhir's direction. But you know how it is with Morgan right?! The ball rarely goes in the direction he wants to. And Gambhir's elbow lives to see another humiliating test defeat against the poms.The possibility of an innings defeat looms large. Contrary to people's beliefs, Harbhajan's not a total idiot. I think he foresaw this and hence left for India. Injury? Haha..you really thought so?
              Seriously how excited was i before this test series. But what i have written has been haunting me even in my sleep. While it might not be as bad as the image of Stuart Broad aka Barbie Doll dancing buck naked in the shower, i assure you its still no good. So bad has their performance been, they have made me look delusional. In the dressing room Graeme Swann is smiling now. Well Graeme, you shouldn't. You sucked as a bowler. No.1 bowler huh? well far from it.

walk of shame

Not able to bear the guilt of appearing as a delusional to my own self, i will now spend my days in hiding indefinitely until things become better or until the poms lose to a team like Kenya. ciao until then..

damnit! get away from me!

Aus need 119 from 52 balls. its almost over. i am now watching this match only to see Warner go berserk and help myself to a few fireworks towards the end. You suck Steven smith! As a batsman if  you aren't able to put away someone like Rangana herath you know you suck as one!
Steven Smith: St Sangakkara bHerath 12(17)
see? tat is precisely what am talkin about! loser!
the next man is Brad haddin. i think Australia should have given Sri lanka a walkover! what pathetic team selection! all these years Greg chappell hasn't learnt a thing. I guess hes the 'real' loser here. Aus 89/5

A zombie that he is, Cameron White is supposed to scare other people. But he is the one who's looking scared here! really scared!!
once again, what kind of team keeps a zombie as a captain.
The Aussies are now back into the game! why? coz Cameron white's on his way! You can win this one Aussies! or maybe not because the next man in is Steven 'the loser' Smith. okay, even he needs to go if australia want to win. Aus 66/4 in 9 overs.

David hussey gone as well! Aus 49/3 in 6 overs. The next batsmen is from the zombie hall of fame. guess who?

zombie

if Aussies are to have any chance of winning this one, Cameron White has to go...and quick!

Aus vs Sri lanka 1st t20

Gone! the Ox has been bowled by a beauty from Nuwan 'reptile' Kulasekara. When you are chasing a score like 199 in t20 u need someone like Ox. Nevertheless Sehwag student David Warner is hitting well as he just hit a six over the bowler's head. Also there's Shaun Marsh on the other side. If these two can stay things could become easy for the Aussies. However it's never a good thing to have Greg Chappell in your dugout. He's a ugly witch and I think am right coz Marsh just lost his wicket!

viru returns!!

The poms might have won the two tests. But here is where it stops! There is only one man in their way and there he is standing there with a smirk on his face. He is Virender Sehwag! yes people he's back! recovered or not he can still kick ass and amen he will!
Graeme Swann has wet his pants once again!

the curse of Ishant

India are 0-2 down in the series already. Humanly it is very very difficult to recover from here.
                                         So the only way out for Team India now is for Ishant Sharma to reveal his true identity and use his supernatural powers to let loose his fury over the poms. Kinda like this

i curse you pommies! (in between thundering of clouds)

The poms stand no chance now do they?! Graeme Swann has already wet his pants!

Suresh raina has returned to his old ways

public display of affection gets a whole new meaning!

look at the above picture. do i need to say anything? its evident why raina underperformed in the second test against England. That man can just not keep his pants up, can he!
still all is not lost. Mend your ways Raina before it's too late. Look 'the villain' Virat Kohli has already made it to the team in place of an injured Yuvraj. Stay Sharp.
(i have borrowed the sign off from someone..if you are smart you will know haha!)

Return of  'the villain'

Wayne is now Whallid

Wayne Parnell is now Whallid Parnell. Wayne Parnell has converted to Islam. WTF!
            the national team manager who is also a muslim, was quick to say that neither of the two i.e Hashim Amla or Imran Tahir were responsible in influencing Wayne..sorry Whallid and it was his own decision which he had taken after personal study. Whallid means "the Great One" in their language but how can something like that even in the least be associated with someone like Wayne Parnell. Sorry i will keep calling him Wayne because thats how people know him.
this news seriously made me go WTF! WTF!

dick

here's another thing that made me go WTF

call 100-45666 for unlimited pleasure.

Cameron White national t20 captain?/!

i am sorry if my last post was too colorful. its probably beacuse am tired now and have stopped thinking.
                    while reading the papers today i saw Tillakaratne Dilshan posing with a trophy along with wait? it can't be . yes Cameron White. It was one of those customary Captain's photos. But if that is the case what the hell is Cameron White doing in it? unless..he's the captain!! The last i saw of Cameron White, he was in terrible terrible form! and now this? what happened suddenly? Has he regained his form? if not, then why the captaincy?
is this what Cricket Australia do to motivate those guys who are not doing well..by giving them captaincy? I am still coming to terms with it and so must be Cameron White. afterall its not always that a zombie leads a national cricket side. rite?

zombie

all sorts of things are happening in the cricketing world right now. as much as i would like to it isn't humanly possible for me to report each and everything especially alongside engineering which i am currently pursuing right now. I know for sure that i will have to discontinue someday..but till then i'll try to make this work
    alrite then, here's a glimpse of the things that took place

• India lose the second test by 319 runs after losing the first test by 196 runs
• The VASEliNE GATE                                                                                                              Vaughan tweeted that Laxman had applied vaseline to his bat and hence his edge went unnoticed by Hot Spot thus starting the vaseline gate which led to angry mob of Indians abusing him on twitter. I read some of the abuses. I swear if he knew what they meant he would confine himself to his home and live in hiding for eternity. He didn't make things easier for himself when he retweeted a couple of these abusive tweets adding  "Nasty..i guess?". Seeing that their abuses were being retweeted many more abused him further hoping for a retweet. Soon many Indians who didn't even know he was, came to know of his existance. I tell you he is one big DUMBASS. nothing else. Seeing the attention and the fame Vaughan got, a lesser know Hoggard followed suit. You can't help but think about the senselessness of the people living in this world.
• The IAN BELL runout controversy                                                                                             Ian bell, the pig faced guy with decent cricketing skills was runout because of his carelessness as he strayed away from the crease thinking that play time was over. Clearly the one at fault he even argued with the umps as they gave him out. The crowd booed as team India claimed the wicket. Then during the break Stauss like a beggar came upto 'The Dhoni' asking to withdraw the appeal. A nagging beggar that he was, team India let Bell back on the field stating that what they did was not by the rules but in the spirit of the game. And GUESS WHAT? NOBODY CARES. What this step did although was deny the British Media of some breaking news. Bell went on to score 150 and was out shortly after. These English, i tell you such hypocrites! there was a similar incident a few years ago and this is what the English did then:

http://www.theroar.com.au/2011/08/01/ian-bell-run-out-incident/

• UDRS                                                                                                                                          Then ofcourse we had Nasser Hussain and Ravi Shastri battle it out in the commentary box over India saying no to UDRS. Nasser went on to say that India's decision to not use UDRS was *disgraceful* which angered Ravi Shastri and both of them were soon caught in a war of words. It went on for sometime before they realised that they had to cover the match too and that they had argued through one whole session without any idea of the time. These Commentators, such boring people i tell you. they just sit there and talk and talk and talk and then there's some more talk! aaahhh give me a break!!

Alan Wilkins gets owned!

Alan Wilkins gets owned....by Sourav Ganguly
 

Another day of cricket and am again listening to the commentary. there is this conversation between Ganguly and Wilkins. it was somewhat like this:

Wilkins: The Bollywood movie Patiala House was shot entirely at this stadium.

Ganguly: I know even you played a part in it.

Wilkins: So did you watch it?

Ganguly: No..i will watch the movie only when you play a part which is longer than a minute. I don't want to head out of the screen for a drink or coffee and miss your shot!!

fucking owned! Look how Alan Wilkins gets owned here by Sourav Ganguly. Haha...hilarious! rite?

Dravid has been 'the guy' in England. When people criticized him, he stood there unlike that sad cricketer Sourav Ganguly who quit because he felt he was being judged at the end of each game, each series. He must be really stupid and naive..giving up his game for a reason like that.
anyways so now that Dravid's been doing good it's his chance to say 'up yours' to his critics. The same can be said for Laxman. Even he is hanging on there.

they call him The Wall.

"You leave me alone and i might do something else but when you say i can't do it, I do my very best indeed, better than the best. Thanks to them (crowd) for cheering me up."

when you read the first two lines you may think of it to be taken out from some cheesy self help book. But if you think so i need to tell you that you are wrong. The philosopher talking here is none other than S.Sreesanth. Surprised? even i was when i read it. Sreesanth has now added another feather to his cap. Stand up comedian/ Dancer/ Philosopher and an occasional bowler who surfaces in team India from time to time only to disappear again. Once again listening to the commentary i came across this interesting thought by some foreign commentator. He said Sreesanth was good against South-African batsmen. Now wait where does South Africa come from? Isn't this a England vs India test?! I didn't have to think too much as i saw who was batting. It was none other than Mr. I am Royalty! Amusing really! But what added to my amusement was that it was Sreesanth who got another South African Jonathan Trott in one innings and Mr I am Royalty in both innings. yes both of them! now i am thinking of that unplayable delivery he got Jacques Kallis out to in South Africa. He's also got 'The Ab' out quite a few times!
         Seems like it maybe true afterall. Sreesanth has finally found something he is good at!

sreesanth thinking '' i suck at everything. don't i?"

this is his reaction after reading my blog.

 You see i put a smile on his face. This was my one good deed for the day. You go do yours.

Fuck! India 's down 2-0 now against the poms. They have completely taken Team India by surprise. The next significant news being that Virender Sehwag or 'The Sehwag' has left for England and with Zaheer back hopefully the pommie tailenders will probably not wag their tails as much as they have done so far particularly Barbie. You know you are not bowling right when someone like Bresnan is hitting you for 90!! Yea..i know he can bat..so you expect him to hit a 30 odd someday but wait 90? and that too against the no.1 ranked team in the world?? The world is coming to an end or wait maybe its just India no.1 ranking thats coming down. 'The Dhoni' has vowed a turnaround and Harbhajan is injured. Truth be told even if he wasn't injured i don't really think the chances of him playing were too bright. So maybe he faked it. To save himself the embarrassment...

Barbie the Bitch

I am fucking pissed! The reason being the evident rise of Barbie's role in influencing the tests. Whether with the bat or ball Barbie just doesn't seem to get it wrong and this has only led to my frustration reaching a new high! The second test is only half way and this bitch has contributed big time, both with the bat as well as the ball. Scored 64 in the first innings off just 66 inspiring even someone like Graeme Swann to bat as both of them took England from 124/8 to 221.
Then coming again to take a fifer which included a hat-trick. My day couldn't have gone worse..Ofcourse his hat-trick was not genuine as it included a wrong lbw decision. But since the person involved is none other than Harbhajan Singh i don't feel like wasting my time debating
So, to sum it up:

1. Stuart Broad hits 64(66) in first inns : BAD
2. Then Barbie doll takes a hat-trick, the first against India,ever : WORSE
3. In his 5 wicket haul, virtually no run scored as India go on from 266/4 to 288 all out. WORST!!!

shit! not you again..no-ones calling you, moron!

Here he is:

Stuart Broad. Cute huh? lol.

Mr. I am Royalty

watching the India vs England test at lords, my ears were open. Doing the commentary was none other than Sourav ganguly along with Alan Wilkins. Whenever i listen to him speak, i wait, anticipating him to lose it and throw a volley of abuses at shahrukh khan ( he just sucks doesn't he? that bitch!) but alas i am kept waiting hopelessly for eternity..
                        But wait thats not why am writing this post. This one is about...have you seen the title? then you must know its about Mr I am Royalty AKA Mr Kevin Pietersen.

So the other day Mr Royalty comes out to bat, Wilkins starts about Pietersen's diminishing form in the odi's.Ganguly himself a victim of similar abuses, steps up to him:

Ganguly: why is that people are so much after Kevin Pietersen?

Wilkins: (amused). I think it because of the lifestyle of his. He lives in a penthouse,he has these swanky cars, he is friends with Frank Lampard.

Ganguly(in his mind): Frank Lampard huh? mmm.. must be someone important.

Wilkins: I think people of England love to hate him!

Something Wilkins didn't count was the vast majority of people who don't give a fuck about it!!
                             

Some random guy on yahoo: What is Kevin Pietersen's address?

Possibly the best answer by another random:

"666 skunkhead view

sloggerville

traitorshire

south-africa."

                       

oooh! now that was something! this guy sure knows how to express his love. If Pietersen ever reads the above post, i mean ever...he is going to be sobbing bad. really bad!

wait...kevin? you read it? please don't cry...ple..kevin....Damn!

The next post is heavy. It's gonna be about Shane 'OX' Watson. He is good. He is arrogant. He is an allrounder! People hate him. He doesn't give a fuck. And i am not gay.
It is debatable whether he is as good as/better than 'Freddie'.
                                               If team Australia is a man, HE IS THE DICK!!
But then isn't a dick a really very important asset?
here he is...

oopsie...sorry to the audience for having to see this totally pirated copy. This is Luke Wright from England, the man who gets nothing right.
okay, so here's the original one

wtf am i doing on this page

tats the OX for you!!

This is sad. England have won the first test against India at lords by a whooping 196 runs. This is terrible. I am off to sleep. I think i am gonna get a nightmare of Stuart Broad dancing naked in the shower singing 'am a Barbie girl'. Ok wait..i think i'll stay up.

Harbhajan singh, go to hell. He's out bowled Anderson, caught by Tremlett.So what about the wrong lbw decision? Don't complain. Even barbie got one. In the back of my my mind i feel it slipping away. Praveen Kumar can bat, but i won't count on it. The people to come up next are an injured Zaheer and Ishant Sharma who can't bat for scat..;boy, not pretty.  C'mon raina, as i type he just hit a four off Barbie.India 247/7. About 30 overs remain. Go raina!

day 5, India vs England at lords
Hell!! Dhoni's gone..Tremlett's got him. Raina's got a chance to be a real hero here. Harbhajan you are gonna have to play side-kick. India 236/6.

day 5, India vs England at lords
one word for team India's current situation on the final day of test:'Bleak'.
Chasing 458 was always going to be tough. It was never about winning. All India could do was survive.

• Yes the pommie bowling is good and they know their conditions well.
• Yes Gambhir and Sachin were well below their 100%

Tea time. All is not lost. India are 218/5. Raina (54 no.) and Dhoni (16 no.) on the crease.In a similar situation Dhoni had hung on for a draw against the poms and that too with somebody like Sreesaanth. Hope he can pull it off once again. Raina seems to have taken my advice (he reads my blog i knew it ) and has mend his ways. He will play a major part here. Just don't leave it for the tail, please..
A word of advice to Indian players "don't drink tea provided by any Englishman. There is a high possibility of it containing laxatives. Avoid it at all costs."
Random Scheming Englishman, i am onto you.
A special mention to Sachin Tendulkar. lbw james anderson 12(68). These figures might not be among the best, but credit to him because he tried. Facing the poms on the field while being unwell is definitely worth a mention. Sachin, respect.

day 4, India vs England at lords.
Prior has hit an unbeaten 103 (120) while Barbie was unbeaten on74 (90) as the poms declared at 261/6. India now need to chase 458. Gambhir was hit on his hand and won't open, Sachin's health will make sure he wont play higher than no:7 and about 120 overs to bat. England clearly having the upper hand. Hope Barbie is exhausted from all that batting. To see him get too many wickets this innings will really piss me off. Earlier Mr"I am Royalty" hit an unbeaten 202 to take England to a massive score of 474/8. Respect.
Why is it that when Zaheer is not there in the team, team India is literally taken for a run bashing!? India in reply were 286 all out with Dravid finally hitting a ton at lords. He scored 103 no.
Dhoni is going to be suspended for the next test on account of slow over rate.
As for Suresh Raina,he seems distracted. Got out for a duck in the first test, regarded as the best fielder by none other than Ab de villiers, he was scratchy and even did a 4 overthrow. Reason? here it is.

choosing lust over cricket

yes, Suresh Raina has been seeking companionship. Taking advantage of the situation is the 'villain', and he is none other than Virat kohli. After a not so good test series in West Indies, Virat has been working hard. However that alone not being enough Virat is wooing Raina to distract him from his game and sneak into the team once again. The result was evident. Raina who hit a ton against Somerset, failed to score even a run against England. Wasn't all good with bowling and less than average in the field.
Get over Virat, Suresh Raina, for your own good! plenty of fish in the sea!
Virat kohli, i am onto you!

watching day 4 of India vs England test at lords. Disappointed. England were 107/6 at one stage. I seriously thought the tail would wrap up quick and we would be in a very good position. Alas, it was not to be. The Prior-Broad partnership has now become very irritating and looks like Prior is on his way to score a ton in a very quick time that too. Looking at the Pommies and wondering even their bowlers can bat. Dhoni seems to be very excited about bowling because if he had been active enough, Stuart 'Barbie-doll' Broad would have been in the pavilion a long time ago (he didnt even attempt to catch a nick of Barbie's bat).Barbie even survived a lbw appeal and has gone on to hit a half century. Forget a win team India, its all about survival now!

All those who want to know what's happening in India's practice test vs Somerset, here's a quick look

• Somerset 425/3 dec. 1st inn & 200/2 (33 overs) so far.
• India 224. Suresh Raina 103*(112)
• Dhoni is not playing
• Strauss is playing
• Zaheer gets to play mind games on Strauss. Strauss replies by hitting 50+ scores in both inns. Zaheer will get him in the "REAL" game and have the last laugh.
• Some PD Trego has had it and is batting on 61 frm 34 balls. Yes! just 34 balls.
• Murali kartik plays for Somerset. (does he actually get to play? and yes he is not playing this one)
• I don't care if Somerset win. They just need an Indian to go upto them and say "wait you won? was this even a match? we thought of it as net practice.") 

Operation Anti-Choker

Movie Poster

The South African team have begun work on the project 'Anti-Choker'. They will be led by Captain Ab de Villiers and guided by ex-veteran Gary Kirsten (in odi's and t20's).Together (along with the other team members) they will fight to destroy the 'chokers' tag which has plagued Team Proteas since time immemorial. Will they succeed? or will they end up,just like their predecessors..
This has all the makings of one helluva Blockbuster. let's wait and see...

Team India are playing a practice match against Somerset prior to the test series against the poms. And guess what? Somerset 329/2 in 75 overs. And the wicket takers? Amit Mishra and Suresh Raina!!
The last statement doesn't sound too good eh?

     It's been a pretty boring time in cricket post the world cup and ipl. Yes, there was a tri-series in Zimbabwe which was played by the second teams ( 'a' sides ) of Australia, South Africa and Zimbabwe. As one could expect Aussies and the Proteas made it to the final and the Aussies emerged victorious. Some respite for the Aussies who have been everybody's punching bags because of their downfall lately.
     India played West Indies and even the worst numerologist could have forecasted the result. Ofcourse, this meant trying out new players. Ishant Sharma was great,Abhinav Mukund was decent and Virat Kohli surprisingly was not half as good as he is in ODI's. Having said that,they now play the 'poms' in 'pommieland' and everyone's curious to see whether India can retain their dominance.
BAD NEWS: Sehwag to miss first test against the poms.
The above news maybe reason for worry,but we've got some senior experienced players coming back into the side and hopefully it should suffice.
WATCH OUT! PLENTY OF SHORT BALLS AHEAD!

Harbhajan Singh is the 3rd Indian and the 11th cricketer to take 400 wickets in test cricket. 6 more wickets and he will enter the top ten sending Curtly Ambrose out of the list who is currently at no.10 with 405 wickets. The other two Indians already in this list are Anil Kumble and Kapil Dev with 619 and 434 wickets respectively. Now i am no big fan of his and have no idea why i am writing this post. Maybe because statistics look good on a blog!!

The easiest question ever.
Q.What excites Ab de Villiers?
Ans. 'Anything.'
That's right people. Ab literally gets excited by just about anything on planet Earth. He is one of those people who are able to find happiness in even the smallest of things no matter how irrelevant or the worst of situations.
On his website he says that hes very excited to lead team South Africa. And i am not surprised! for someone getting excited at an early morning breakfast, imagine the excitement of leading your country's national cricket team. Anxious to see how he fares! wait i just came across this tweet by Ab:

" Watched season 4 of Dexter.Love that t.v series!!! blah blah..Great way to relax before a big test series."

 Did u hear that? Ab de Villiers likes Dexter! This is some fucking news!! he likes Dexter. I love Dexter and couldn't possibly imagine someone like Ab liking it! I even ignored the big test series comment (it was against West Indies,duh!)
Ab, you are cool!

Here are a couple of bowlers i absolutely wish i could see more of

1. Nathan Bracken: watching this guy bowl was good fun. Just wish he was out there a bit longer.                                                                                                                                                          



kick-ass bowler

2. Liam Plunkett: i watched him in just one match versus the Aussies. I think Commonwealth Series 2nd final, and he was fabulous. He swung the ball very well  and with figures 3-43 made sure England defended an average score of 246.                                                                                                                          

And there's a player by the name of Graeme Swann.

look at me! I am Mr.Sarcasm. You, you don't think so? well you suck!

 Seriously, anyone reading his twitter updates will realise that this guy is disillusioned! He is also the 'so called' lead of a 'so called' band by the name 'Dr Comfort and the Lurid Revelations'. What kind of a band name is that? What is he? An alien??/
Although a couple of his tweets were decent though.
this one during the World Cup:

"I'd say that the fifteen spare bat grips provided to me for the world cup is the very definition of misguided optimism."

and this one before their flight to Perth:

         "Are passports still absolutely required to travel overseas." "If so then today may be one of frantic searching."

and then re-emerging to make sure he stayed true to the 'stupid' tag by tweeting the following:

                   " My passport turned up in my 'safe' place, down the back of my kitchen bin."

But still the first couple of tweets do display a hint of sanity in this guy. This guy can still be saved! Someone just needs to tell him that there's a fine line between sarcasm and stupidity because he seems to be tripping over the latter in his attempts to reach the former!

Zombies in World Cricket!

Okay lets take a look at a couple of cricketers strongly resembling 'Zombies" i.e  the undead creatures from the afterworld. Ofcourse this is just an intro, with time i'll add more specimens ( lol ). Here the are:

1. Anthony Martin (in-case you do not know he plays for West Indies)                                               
   

   

   Brrainsss! i am not worried as long as Yusuf has the bat!

   
   

    In case you don't believe me, just watch him live once and u'll understand!
2. Cameron White                                                                                                                                                               

   

   boo!

                                                                    

And for those of you wondering why Jacques Kallis was not included in this list, well that's because i recently saw him smiling in one of the ads with srk. 

Why associate nations SHOULD PLAY in the World Cup

There has been a lot of debate on whether the associate nations should be included in the next world cup. I definitely feel that these nations must be given a chance if we need to make cricket a world wide sport like football and also because there is no lack of talent in players from these countries. Infact, with enough experience they can actually take on the Big Teams in World Cricket. Ofcourse who can forget Ireland upsetting England in the World cup. And here's the man who orchestrated it

glory!!

 

Another player who has really been a find is Ryan Ten Doeschate.
An aggressive batsman with decent bowling skills, he showed the world what he was capable of when he smashed an impressive 119 vs England in the world cup and also took two wickets. Although Netherlands lost (i don't know why Nannes wasn't playing....injury perhaps?) his talent was recognised and he would lat
er play for the kkr.

 So, in a nutshell yes definitely the associate nations more than deserve a chance (so that they can keep beating England) and we get to see good cricket all round.