Oasis? probably not..

   Team India finally registered its first win overseas after defeating Australia in a t20 match. After the win though, when members of  team India were still seen carrying around dismal faces, one of the reporters asked the same to the team captain MS Dhoni, he said that the team had forgotten how it felt to win a match overseas and that it was ''definitely sinking in''. Don't know about the feeling, but the team definitely sank in the next one dayer against Australia.

THE 'R' policy

    MS Dhoni stressed on the Rotation policy which in reality was more of a Raina-Rohit policy and which included the rotation of senior players to allow Rohit Sharma and Suresh Raina virtually a fixed spot in the side. From the word go, Dhoni seemed to have this underlying issue with the senior players, and has been regularly taking potshots on them, the latest one being how Sachin, Sehwag and Gambhir leak about 20 runs owing to their fielding. But wait, Gambhir isn't even that senior. This statement from Dhoni comes directly after running Gambhir out in the 90's. I think Dhoni has started disliking Gambhir. MS, i am pretty sure the feeling is mutual.
   " You aren't getting any younger yourself. " Sehwag was seen almost protesting to MS. The next you know out of nowhere, MS drags Sehwag by the neck into a room only to come out a good couple of hours later. It's official. Sehwag is sitting out the next match due to *back spasms*.

Dhoni the new Chanderpaul?

     While everybody else is pretty much focussed on how mighty a finisher MS Dhoni is, it hasn't gone past me that even though he might have taken the team through, he isn't batting particularly fast. This tour, his scores of 44(58), 58(69) and 56(84) clearly suggest strike rates well below 100 i.e not amounting to even run a ball. At this point, you might be thinking '' But he gets the job done?" So for now THAT is the only reason i prefer to shut up and wait. As much as i hate to say it, he WILL FAIL one day (lose his wicket while trying to accelerate the score; both the teams and his). And that day, his stats wouldn't be too different from Chanderpaul.

losing it.

Adieu to ODI ?

    Ricky Ponting has been dropped from the ODI team in what could very well be a fullstop to his career. "When you fail against a team like India, you obviously can't continue" one of the authorites was heard telling.
   Sachin Tendulkar is in a similar position career-wise and if it wasn't for the quest of his 100th ton, he would have been out a long time ago. A guaranteed way for Sachin to get to that ton would be if somehow he were to play against India.  
Sachin's plight is no different from a download that has stuck to 99%. So close.Yet So far.

One hit wonder?

Richard levi. Kinda like a fat Ab de Villiers.

   South African newbie Richard Levi created history Sunday night by hitting the quickest ton in the history of t20s surpassing the Gayle storm. He remained unbeaten on 117 off 51 balls as he made a mockery of the run-chase hitting as many as 13 sixes ( another record ) and thus downing Brendon McCullum's New Zealand. I hope atleast this guy lasts longer than the previous Loots Bosman, Morne van wyk or even a Herschelle Gibbs for that matter.

 Signing off.

Sigh..

Australia vs India, sydney test, day 3

And it happened. Yet another record has been created against India. This time its michael clarke who's done it which probably adds insult to injury. I'll sum up what i feel about the whole deal in one word: "DISGUST"

Okay how shit must you be that michael clarke hits you about 200 runs in just one day in a test match. But wait, this isn't the first time something like this happened. You know something is horribly wrong with your team when someone's hitting you a 200 odd on your every goddamn tour. Whats worse is that its pretty much the first time for these batsmen. Mccullum, Cook, Pietersen, Kallis, and now Clarke. In fact Darren Bravo must be kicking himself for missing out on one himself.

Some wise ass said Indians will have to be willing to look ugly if they were to salvage this test. But i don't think this is what he meant :

bravo!

Personally i feel India lost the plot when they let Clarke get to not 100, not 200 but 3 fucking hundred ! India must stop kidding themselves here and start preparing for the next test. And although the chances are slim, i wouldn't be too surprised if Sachin Tendulkar gets to that hundredth ton this test . Everyone is already like c'mon dude get on with it. That thing was interesting probably like a decade ago. Move on now?

In other news, Kallis and Abraham Benjamin de Villiers kicked off a run fest against Sri lanka. While Kallis hit a double ton, AB as always was more than happy to play second fiddle and remained unbeaten on 160 as South africa declared at 580/4.

..also notice AB in the background

Personally i think the declaration could have been a deal between Kallis and Graeme smith so as to prevent AB from upstaging the former,otherwise the way AB was hitting he would have got there soon. But i do not wish to go further into that. AB is happy, i couldn't care less.  
Correction: AB is always happy, a little disappointed sometimes maybe, but yeah always happy.

Enough, AB! Somebody stop him!

Anyways, speaking of a double ton, who can forget..
 

\m/

                                                                               and

lol

as sehwag got to the double ton, this guy couldn't hold himself and ran to him with a bouquet. That's affection for you. Sternly sending him back without giving a fuck, now that's Sehwag for you.

Further, a couple of tweets by 'team mate' Graeme Swann have turned into a major embarrassment for Stuart Broad (not including those feminine jokes everybody repeatedly cracks at him). he tweeted

" Not such a big thank you to @StuartBroad8 who just popped into my room for a suspiciously short time then disappeared leaving an iffy odour. "

             " I don't believe in dropping ones shopping then scarpering. I believe you should stay and endure the sulphurous stink. "

 Hahaha. Barbie's cuteness has taken a beating maybe. And Graeme Swann, I think it's time someone genuinely considered giving him a role as Sheldon's long lost twin on Big Bang Theory.

So long.

Australia vs india, 2nd test, Sydney, ' The Curious Case of Virat kohli's middle finger '

going by what i have seen in the ongoing test between India and Australia, i can only say one thing
>> '' THE VISITORS ARE SO SCREWED.. '' <<

Its no surprise how many out of form players can quickly recover playing just a game against India.But you 've got to hand it to team India. They do so much for the game of cricket. You take out a buried skeleton of any ex cricketer and make it bat against India, it will score, BIG!
Ricky ponting has been one such cricketer who always seems to have kept his best game for India.Yes just like Mahela Jayawardene or a Matt Prior maybe, its a big list. Coming back to the game,


                                      Somebody stop this son of a bitch! ( apparently his nickname is pup so the 'son of a bitch' thing is justified, eh?)

orgasmic puppy

It is never a good thing to see Ishant Sharma trying to sledge his way to a wicket but this, THIS IS INTERESTING!

Virat kohli giving a finger to the crowd at Sydney.

Whose the villain? Yes you are..you are...

India vs England 3rd Odi

coming home tired, plonking myself on the bed, switching on the tv. Extras showing the fall of wickets. 1,2,3,4...? wait wtf?! and then i see the scorecard of the Englishmen. 298/4 ?! either the pitch must be a really good surface to bat or team India must have bowled Sreenath Aravind (The latter being not true)

  Samit patel and Roelof van der merwe (poof) belong to those special kind of cricketers who are told by coaches to keep their eyes compulsorily closed while hitting the ball. So while doing so they might get hit sometimes but keeping their eyes open they risk getting hit by almost every delivery.

  Today was a good day for Samit patel. scored 70 off 43 balls which include 7 4's and 2 6's. Seriously Samit Fuck you! because you got England to a considerably big score they would otherwise never have got with Jonathan trott in the middle. Trott is another sad fucker! 98 off 116 notout haha.. another sad ass mofo.. look how he is stranded on 98. These are the moments which make cricket special.
  uh yes.. Fuck you Samit for hittin 70 off 43 balls. if bopara had played those 43 balls he would have got to his 50 off say 75 deliveries and could have got to play a few more matches for England. No real damage to the scoreboard as well, as England would have been at least 30-40 runs short of where they are right now. But no you don't want to think about that. Fuck you Samit! Fuck you!

paul collingwood's fall from grace

Somebody please help get him out of here!!!!

Stuart Broad doppelgangers AKA my shittiest post

here's a list of stuart broad doppelgangers.. Once again, i have no idea why i am doing it.
just check it out.

1.Stuart Broad and julie benz (from dexter)

stuart broad and julie benz. doppelgangers!

2.Stuart Broad and evey ( from v for vendetta)

stuart broad and natalie portman. doppelgangers!

3. and finally our very own barbie!

stuart broad and barbie. cute huh? lol

it is a riot..! Miss Stuart you are a lovely lass!!

India vs England, 2-0 and running

the pommies were handed their second consecutive defeat as India beat them by 8 wickets at delhi on monday. after the the fall of the rookie ajinkya rahane and the dwarf ( parthiv patel ) early , two delhiites; Gambhir  and the other, someone i do not wish to name came to the party and ensured that India won rather comfortably.

''what i like about these two wins is that india have won big, not scraped through. winning is also about creating hopelessness''  well said harsha bhogle..very well said. for once i agree

3 odi's left. 5-0 will be sweet but team India has done some charity in the past and they might do some this time around as well.


Meanwhile somewhere else Bangladesh beat West Indies. why is this significant ?! well because West Indies were all out for 61 after playing just 22 overs. they have clearly outdone themselves here.


There were also a couple of t20s played between australia and south africa. People turned out to watch it despite Ab's absence. the aussies won the first. Shane 'ox' Watson didn't play the second t20 because he was bored. Naturally the Saffas won it

bored

paul collingwood is trying to put a brave face co-hosting the extras show before and after the matches. He clearly doesnt belong here.

Tom cruise and Shaun tait

more doppelgangers,

• Tom Cruise and Shaun Tait 

Tom cruise and Shaun tait. doppelgangers!

Billie joe armstrong and Callum ferguson and Virat kohli

As one of the reader's, AT Doeschate rightly pointed out!

Callum ferguson and Billie joe armstrong. doppelgangers!

 and also my observation!

Virat kohli and Callum ferguson. doppelgangers!

many more doppelgangers in the future people!

the chaos is over.

finally it's calm again in the cricketing world (well for sometime atleast) as the clt20 ends. every memory washed away right from the nauseous opening ceremony to Arun Karthik's dramatic last ball six off Daniel Christian.

Unfortunately it also means no seeing the Morkels (here, Albie) and the Doeschates anymore. but doesnt matter. Albie will be busy in the treatment of his brother Morne. wondering what happened to Morne Morkel are you now? well here's what happened:

embracing the female side

should i say more?!


Meanwhile Ryan ten Doeschate after playing some good cricket here, is looking forward to a good vacation. But hey,doesn't mean he didn't enjoy here!

such a top guy i tell you and humble too!



and about the clt20 tournament? well the team led by harbhajan singh won!
they say 'every dog has his day'. Incidentally the same applies for monkeys too..!

i resurface one last time for the night to bring to light one hell of a twitter update by Dirk Nannes and i assure you this tweet (or retweet ) could easily overshadow his performance for the rcb in clt20
here it is:

"Kohli has the strong wrists of someone who spent his teen years angrily masturbating to magazine pics of Aishwarya." 

speechless? not me..i am roaring with laughter!!! How brilliant is that!

apparently masturbation is not taboo in cricket. here's another famous guy rather proudly 'doing it'.

good fun. lol

And then here is  Ab de villier's reaction to all of this

AB: "forgive them for they know not what they do"

Amen.\\

Csk vs Nsw - a fight for survival

Csk and Nsw face off in a do or die match in the clt20. csk is a strong team and nsw's glorious days are perhaps maybe behind them. But lets not forget nsw is the team of the ox. yeah rite nsw has Shane watson in its ranks...but wait this advantage is immediately cancelled out by the presence of  Steven smith (talentless) and moises henriques (a hopeless wannabe). the sheer presence of these two guys is enough to send nsw packing home. to add to it, nsw skipper simon katich probably has not been able to come out of the grief of being denied a contract for australia and that average of 15 is not going to help him either.
And then the match began as watson ( the ox ) and warner ( follower of sehwagology ) got off to a flier. as usual watson got bored and threw his wicket ( he really does need to show some respect to the opposition ) . Sehwag's protege Warner had other plans as he launched a brutal assault on the bowlers not sparing even his former nsw team matey (as they say it back home?) douggie bollinger. i know it's doug but ravi shastri's commentary gets to you..
Raina came into bowl to Warner with a child like ignorance but was shown no mercy as Warner caned him. At the end of the game, raina's figure's read 3 overs 0-32. one can either praise raina for his bravery or can criticise him for his foolishness. I say leave him alone.
So warner has done serious damage to csk's chances. he scored a brutal unbeaten 135 off 69 deliveries!! somewhere watching all of this is Sehwag. he can be proud of himself! he's taught the kid (here, warner) well!

(sehwag telling warner): i always thought you were better than AB!

Davy Jacobs blues

long ago in the history of t20 cricket, were a pack of cricketers lead by a small but otherwise big hearted man with just a little more hair than Herschelle gibbs. This man was called davy jacobs. Some speculate that such was his terror among the opponents that they named him after davy jones (that creature from pirate's movie). People of their area affectionately called them the 'warriors'. The warriors fought hard and won many a battles under the leadership of jacobs. And then suddenly everything changed.

Davy jacobs was bought by the mumbai indians (the same franchise that now has harbhajan singh as its captain). The confidence, the runs and everything else. poof! all gone in a flash. The same Jacobs who would move across the wicket to face a ball at about 140kmph and still hit it way into the stands found himself wanting while donning the blue outfit. Worse, he started getting out not trying to hit the ball, but defending it. The fear vanished from the opposition just like nauseous memories of the various opening ceremonies of the ipl. And now he has suffered a hip injury.

I think this injury for Davy jacobs couldn't come at a better time. This should give him some time to rethink playing for the mumbai indians and return to the warriors as soon as possible ( that is when the contract expires). But where will that leave Mark boucher? well that...is another story.

davy jacobs - the good times

AB de villiers dreams fractured!

Ab de villiers is out of the champions league 2011. He has fractured his finger in a training session for RCB. If you ask me, i feel he had it coming! Not just me, anybody reading his tweets too would.
like here's his tweet before the unfateful incident

                                           " Morning practice in Bangalore. .....gonna be physical! "

and heres the one before

"Tough fielding session with Ray Jennings today!...."

if Ab finds a fielding session tough, guess Ray jennings was really pushing him. Or maybe someone from the team just got tired of the superhuman fielding standards he was setting and deliberately did it. Either ways it's just Ab's fault. Afterall not every player likes to be made to feel useless and Ab should understand that.

But what really pissed me off is Ab's reaction to the turn of events. Obviously very disappointed he says.

the fuck?? disappointed for what AB? for not being able to play for rcb? for not being able to put in your 400%  in just another game of this shit tournament? for not being able to make the commentators squirm in their seats and orgasm as you play your shots? did he think this was just another fairy tale story with ''and they lived happily ever after..." ending?

 Someone really needs to slap him and wake him up for christ's sake! He is supposed to be leading south africa for the first time and that too against the aussies. but now there are concerns over whether he could be fit to even play, let alone lead the side. These thoughts however, don't seem to be bother him at all as sometime afterwards he is there again on twitter interacting with his friends and family.

PEOPLE SUCK! THIS WORLD IS A PATHETIC PLACE! AND IF YOU AREN'T GOOD YOU WILL BE DEAD SOON!
-(from the diary of shane watson)

See that? learn something from him.

post titled ' Depression forces Pomersbach to take hiatus from cricket.'

http://cricket.yahoo.com/cricket/news/article?id=item/2.0/-/story/cricket.ani.com/depression-forces-pomersbach-take-hiatus-from-cricket-20110928/

this dude never became mainstream for the kind of talent he has.
hope he recovers soon.

just wondering what would happen if the guy was somebody like Irfan Pathan.

wondering WHY HASN'T HE SLIPPED INTO DEPRESSION YET?!.

how does he come up season after season only to be told by people "You don't have it in you anymore."

feel that irfan pathan is gonna be one of those players who will certainly look back at his life one day and shed a silent tear. afterall he was top cricketer. he really was...

Apparently, Callum ferguson is Australia's answer to India's Virat kohli (yes, the villain remember).
Same style, similar shots and wierdly similar looks.
see here:

virat kohli and callum ferguson

See that? the villian has a clone now. Beware raina beware!

anybody wondering why no posts on mumbai indians...?
thats because it is a team that has harbhajan singh as it's captain.
do you really wanna know more?

the good thing about kkr matches is that we get to see Ryan ten doeschate. This guy has single handedly kept the name Netherlands ( or Holland as some might say ) alive in world cricket. he is a good ambassador for the sport in his nation and belongs to the same league of players like Shane watson. top class.

dude

Jacques kallis was made the captain of the kkr in absence of gautam gambhir. He wasnt very happy with the decision and one who's known him would be sure that he would do everything possible to piss the coach enough to take away the captaincy.
First he scored a run a ball 30 odd in the first qualifier to make sure kkr didnt get to a great total. Miraculously kkr won. The next game saw him make a single digit outing for his cause. All this had such an impact on people in the kkr camp that gautam gambhir himself forgot about his own injuries and offered to lead the side. Afterall there's a reason why all these years playing for South africa and we didn't see too many times of him as a captain.

just want to say all those years of cricket i have seen and no-one more uncomfortable with captaincy than Jacques kallis. Infact it would be safe to say that Kallis is more uncomfortable with captaincy than a Hobo without makeup.
the only new thing with his captaincy was that atleast we got to hear his voice...during the toss. Other times he was back to his usual self

which is why the photographer who took the pic below should be awarded

zombies don't smile

unfortunately, no gayle-storm today just some passing showers! Now to see Ab play against his south-african brothers.
i must admit though, clt20 isn't very catching. Plus the commentary is like dead. this maybe the last match i will watch. Or wait i may not even see this one completely!
(meanwhile...)
Botha to Ab: Six!
Botha to Ab: OUT!

and i have pressed the power button on the remote. Time to move on...

just another ugly opening ceremony here to the champions league t20 2011. the performers:
1. Jay sean: who the fuck is he??!!
2. Flo rida: I wanna shoot myself.

 the entire ceremony was misery redefined not only for the viewers home but also for the cameramen and it showed! You know it when you see the same people again and again making an ass of themselves just for the big screen. I could recognise the three blonde cheerleaders even in a crowd now! I think the nauseous feeling due to the opening event will stay for sometime now.


Anyways so the opening match is between the rcb and the warriors. Hope Gayle can murder the bowling just like he murders english on twitter.